Politics lesson
Clinton: the early years
Dog Fight
Purchase of Government Official
Bill Clinton Jokes

Politics lesson

Son: "Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a 
question?"
Father: "Sure, Son. What is it?"
Son: "What is politics?"
Father: "Well, let's take a look at home. For example, I am the wage earner, 
so let's call me the Capitalism. Your mother is the administrator of the 
money, so let's call her the government. We take care of your needs, so let's 
call you the people. Since the maid is paid with money that I earn, let's 
call her the working class. Your baby brother, we'll call the future. Now, do 
you understand that son?"
Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think it over."
Later that night, awakened by his brother's crying, the son went to see what 
was wrong. Discovering that he had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went 
to his parents room and found his mother asleep. He then went to the maids 
room, whereupon peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with 
the maid. The boys knocking went unheeded by his father and the maid, so he 
went back to his room and fell to sleep. The next morning he said to his 
father....
Son: "Dad, now I think I fully understand what politics is."
Father: "Good, Son. Can you tell us in your own words, what is it?"
Son: "Well, Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the working class, government 
is sound asleep, the people are being completely ignored and the future is in 
deep shit."

Bill Clinton's library just burned down. Both Books were destroyed. But the real horror: He hadn't finished coloring either one of them.

Q: How does Bill keep Monica Lewinsky away from the White House?
A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.

Hillary finally realized that she wasnt getting any in the White House so she did the only logical step: She applied for an internship.

Q: What sport did Clinton win a gold medal in?
A: Broad jumping

Only Bill Clinton could take the attention off of one affair, by having
another!

As seen on a bumber sticker; Hell, I'd cheat on Hillary too!!

Q: Why is America called the land of opportunity?
A: Because only in America could the lowest intern bring down the most powerful man.

Q: What did Clinton say to Al Gore about the whole affair?
A: Pardon me.
***************
THE PRESIDENTIAL I.Q. TEST!
Question: Behind every great man stands...?
   A woman
   A woman with a tape recorder
   Janet Reno impersonating a woman
   Any woman (except my wife!)
****************
It was nice to see the Cabinet get behind the President. Especially when Madalyn Albright and Janet Reno said that they know the Presidnet is innocent because, "He never tried anything with us."

Q: What did Ted Kennedy say to Bill Clinton?
A: "What are you worried about? At least she's not dead."

Q: What is the title of Hillary's new book?
A: It Takes a Village to Satisfy My Husband

Bill is such an idiot. He could have gotten away with it if he had settled for "Vice" President.

Q. What was Bill Clinton's first request when he took office as President?
A. To have Flowers on his desk every morning.

Did you hear that Bill Clinton was excited about the new double feature  showing at the White House movie theater?? Seems that he heard THE FLY was opening, and shortly thereafter, FREE WILLY was coming out!!!

President Clinton was agreed to a plea bargain in Paula Jones Sexual Harrassment suit. He will plead guilty to acting like a Kennedy.

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.

One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and which ever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.

The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler bitches in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it.

When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog.

When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it's cage and slowly waddled over towards the Russian dog. The Russian dog snarled and leaped out of it's cage and charged the American dachshund. But, when it got close enough to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund opened it's mouth and consumed the Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog.

The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in disbelief. "We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler bitches in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian wolves."

"That's nothing", an American replied. "We had our best plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."

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New humor was added on Wednesday, October 04, 2006

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